Well here I am.  My new pastime is packing packing packing.  We are moving into the RV, hopefully by the end of the year and making the house more acceptable to buyers.  Everyone or a number of people have said it stunk.  So we and the stinky animals will move out.  We will pull carpet and paint some rooms.  Then back on the market she goes with lots of prayers. I am working on the kitchen now, trying to incorporate what i want to store, want to get rid of, and what i want to put in the camper and remove whats out there now.  Its a job but the kitchen will be the hardest.  Actually i am at least over half way thru it so it should go fast now.  The dining room is full of boxes which we need to take down to the storage unit.

I did call last week.  Maybe will work a couple days this week and in a couple weeks.  Hope so as money is excrutiatingly short right now.  We knew this would happen so its no surprise.

I am just putting all my faith in the Lord right now and hoping the right direction is pointed out to us and we do what he would want of us.

I am going to a bible study once a week and I really enjoy it and am learning soooo much more with my bible study than when i work alone.

I am reading some great books lately.  Wild, Lost and Found on the Pacific Crest Trail   and a friend gave me Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott.  Great books both of them, i would highly recommend them.  Am also weeding my way thru Blessing by John Copeland.  A book that will require further reading and study I am sure.  Really has been a complement to my bible study.  

We hit a few dog shows here and there but not much time for it.  We go to one in Bellingham next weekend or (15-16th). So we will see what happens there.  Its an international conformation show so we will see.

Next weekend I will be in Chicago at a Bernina class that i won in a drawing so i leave on Sat and come back on Tues.  I am looking forward to it as I have had so little time to sew lately.

Decided to try and get back to church on a regular basis this week and we overslept the first day of our commitment so we went to a late service.  Afterwards we asked ourselves "Why don't we go regularly?"  We decided its laziness because we both like church and the feeling we have when we leave.  So hopefully we will take care of that problem.

Not much else here.  Haven't heard from the doc yet as to if i have been approved for the spinal cord stimulator and when it will go in. 

Maybe will work some days this week and this month, that would help the finances.

Here I ramble on to no one buy myself.  Someday i will read this back and see how i felt and what i accomplished.

Fall and Beauty

I had to add this beautiful picture of my minature japenese maple.  It was in a pot on my deck 20 years ago and then it got planted here at Holst Rd.  It is so beautiful now that i hate to leave it so i will save the picture and remember it in all its glory.Fall is my favorite time of year.  The colors are so warm and deep they take my breath away. How did God come up with all these colors and hues?
The weather here now is rainy and it was cold but now it is in the 50's.  The constant rain gets irritating at best at times but often it does stop and then its just damp, or cold, and not rainy.  I doubt i should complain now with all the people on the east coast having the troubles they are having.
Iris and I are going on an adventure this week.  We are going to a workshop on rally freestyle.  A combination dance and obedience sport.  So we will have a weekend of time to ourselves.

Things keep moving along

Well haven't been on for a few weeks.   Things are plugging along.  The week after we went to the UKI agility trial we went to Argus to a UKC agility trial and we either placed or qualified in all but about 2 of the 8 classes.  We really did good.  Iris was so happy and enthusiastic and faster and we did well.  Sallee was more controlled.  Annie went with us and she did well and then she ran Sallee and she did well with her.  So it was a great weekend.

Of course the refrigerator, in the motor home, was dead and we had to use an ice chest.  Leroy finally took the RV to Poulsbo where we had them check the refrig.  Couldn't fix it, just knew it wasn't covered by warranty, wouldn't check, charged us a fortune in labor  to the tune of $300.  We brought it home.  Then he took it up to camping world.  They checked it out, compressions and such but since it is a house refrig they didn't fix it and said, call a regular person.  But they did all sorts of tests and charged us, but a smaller much more reasonable amount.  Called a regular appliance guy.  States the compressor is out.  Fix it for $800.  Be cheaper to buy a new one.  Can't get it out of the motor home door.  Plan for a fix.  Order parts, will take some time.  Leroy calls the amana people, explains the predicament that the refrig is new, we are first owners, even tho it sat on a sales lot a long time.  He says FULL WARRANTY.   Thank you God for again helping us out.  Money saved.   Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

House off market till Jan or Feb l.  Will move into RV, pack up stuff, get rid of rest and paint some rooms, pull carpet, paint floor, put down a couple of area rugs, stage it and put it back on the market. Think we will save money just living in the motor home.

The dogs are well right now.  Diesel is well.  Sallee went to new vet today.  We gave up on the old one that almost made us lose diesel.  She has a low thyroid and she taught me to give her adequan shots for her arthritis and intermittent lameness because it is cheaper and i am capable of doing it.  Great gal.  Known her from agility and shows.  She has been an ER vet and now has set up a state of the art practice.  No more expensive but so much more convenient and cost saving in the long run.  Able to help us answer questions about traveling with the animals.

I have worked my call weeks and am putting in a few days here and there.  They are getting computers on board and training the staff makes them short staffed so i can help out.  Helps me also.

The weather here is now winter.  Rainy, intermittent at times, occasional sun and dry, and cool temps.  In the 40's now.

We lost our last original chicken from many years ago.  Airey.  She died of old age.  We now have only 4 left.  2 cochins and 2 barred rocks and of course our pet duck Lucy.  Lucy is showing her age also and doesn't like to get out much on the cold dreary days.  God help us, he will take her to her eternal home before we have to move.

Trixie is showing her age by the day.  RVing will be hard on her tho we do use a ramp now.  I feel this will be her last year.  Birds love going along and we have been doing that.  They love the commotion and the people around them and the attention.  Cats may not do as well I am afraid, but we will see.

Oh the birds, I am working on training them, Leroy and I both are.  We are clicker training them and they are really making strides.  They get out of their cages about 2-3 x a day, and they are eating good food now better and we are over joyed that we could make their lives better. We do get lots of laughs and happy moments from them and their happy chirping.  Brings the outdoors in.

Leroy is seeing the VA about his back.  They are going to do an injection and give him a Tens.  We will see if any of that helps. I may get a nerve stimulator blocker but am still trying to decide.  The pain meds work and if i do everything right i don't have to take them too often.

So on we go towards our journey, one day at a time.  I am in a bible study now that is really good and helpful and Leroy is considering doing it also.  He said he would do one with me when we are on the road so i don't have to give it up.  His insights are so much better than mine.

Nice sunday

This is what i consider a nice Sun.  We got up and decided we should try the new  UKI venue down at Argus today.  they have same day entry.  So we went.  We made it in time for two beginner classes still not held.  One was jumpers and one was a game - snakes and ladders.  The jumpers one Sallee placed in and got a purple qualifiying ribbon.  She almost qualified for the game too.  Leroy just needed one more jump.  A tiny bit faster and he could have done it.  Iris had a great run in jumpers but we knocked a bar and were 3 seconds over.  The course was great and she was going pretty fast.  Me too, I really pumped arms and  ran and she ran with me and it was true, jean was right.  Barely needed to say anything.  We did really nice and she was having fun, going faster, and enjoying herself.  Which of course were my objectives for today.  So it was great.  The game I couldn't even figure out and if i would have had another whole minute i may have been able to do it.  Longest game on record, ha ha
Then we made our way home and had supper and ice cream and hit the ferry and came home.  I got a nap on the way down, and the way back and got in over 11,000 steps today.  The weather was beautiful, the atmosphere relaxed and laid back and the people nice and enjoyable.    can't imagine whatelse i could have wanted today to make it better.

Well a couple weeks have gone by.  Busy weeks.  Cleaning up from the sale.  Had some trees cleaned up a bit so we had lots of wood to take care of.  Cleaning up crap around the house.  Took some stuff over to a friends house that she wanted, so its been go go go.  I have been putting on 10-15,000 steps a day which is 5-7 miles a day.  One day went over 17.  Losing a tiny bit of weight.  8 lbs so far, but barely noticeable by others.
Last weekend our agility club had a trial in oak harbor.  So we had the camper up there and did our jobs to make it a success.  Think we lost money tho.  Then when we were cleaning up on Sun. I took a giant face plant into the dirt.  Face first, no hands out to stop me, no knees bent, nothing, plop!!  Ground dirt in my glasses and grass and bent the nose pieces flat.   Now mind you I had been in the ring 4x over the weekend and never even tripped or anything.  In fact, Iris did so well on Sun she Q'd in both jumpers and standard preferred.   I think i broke it, or bruised it terrible as i did have some swelling and a little discoloration and the next day, man did my face burn.  But its better now.
The weekend before last we went to lynden to a draft trial sponsored by the Bernese Club and Iris obtained her draft title novice on Sun.  Seems sun is her good day.  She did great.  Its a tough test with an obedience part, a manuevering part, and a 1/2 mile haul with weight over mixed terrain.  She was such a trooper that everyone was in tears of happiness on sun when we finished, even the judge.  It was pretty cool.  we felt like celebrities.  The club loves seeing off breeds complete them.  They are such a great bunch of people.  There was a bulldog Gabe there (who has his own website he is such a celebrity) and a parson terrier, both who also obtained their titles.  Now to do it 4 more times and she will have her advanced title.  We still have other venues we can compete in for draft titles and canadian clubs so its a fun thing to do and she is learning to like it more herself.  Tough little shit she is.
Jeff had a couple weeks vacation.  One he went to Vegas and one he spent a few days with us.  He went with us to the fairs as we always have a good time at fairs so we went to the state fair.  Long day.  Then he came and camped with us in Oak Harbor.  We had lots of time to visit and such so it was really good.  I do so enjoy his company and we have so much fun together.  Who would have ever thought it was possible years ago.

well the sale came and went and all the work i thought i would crash again.  I am the only worker he has, its just Leroy and i to do anything that needs doing.  I am a lousy help but you get what you pay for.
Now we get to take the good stuff to the places that need it like habitat for humanity and waif (for all the island stray dogs) and senior thrift to help people that need stuff at cheaper prices.  We got to give stuff to a great program for gardens for children and its just fun.  It is so cathartic to get rid of all of this stuff and i can't wait to get rid of more.  The desk has been sold so we have to empty it so she can pick it and the picnic table and porch swing up.  she also gets the grill when we are done with it.  We still have a mess to do but its coming together.  Maybe the good Lord will realize we are serious and we are depending on him for the next step and we are doing our part to be ready whenever that is sprung on us.

My tamest bird was so cute today and a picture was posted on facebook.  We truely enjoy her.  Hope we can get the other one as tame.

Diesel has been sick over the weekend and was in the hospital 4 days and 3 nites.  Some intestinal or bladder infection and he almost died.  He is on strick restrictions for 7 days so he sits around mostly in his down comforter and just snuggles down and watches stuff.  He is going and moving and barking so he is betting better.  The garage sale made just enough to pay for the bill so the Good Lord does provide, even tho we don't deserve it.

We are going to Lynden this weekend and letting Iris compete again for a carting title with the Rottweiler association.  She is much better prepared this year so hopefully she will pass.  It is so much fun.  Leroy and Annie are going to give us moral support and just get away and have some laughs and relaxation.  There is a car show going on at the same time in this park so imagine Leroy will be there.  The following weekend we plan on going to the puyallup fair one day with Jeff and then camping in oak harbor and go to movies and shop and just hang out for a few days of his vacation and then he will spend the last week with his friend.  I am so thrilled he decided he would want to spend some of his vacation with us.  We always have a blast together anymore.  I think he really likes us now.  The the rest of the month is leroy having his kite group kite show he works at at fort Casey and I will be on call. for the second time this month. I just finished a doozy week over the holiday and glad it was over.

Well spirits are better here now and hopes are high.

Coming Apart

the edges don't meet.  they are frayed.  It keeps coming farther and farther apart.
The nerves are throbbing with tension, the surrounding area is inflamed.
The mind can't think.  the thoughts don't make sense, they don't go together.
Depression trys to take over, the unrelenting negative phrases, sentences, words, keep going over and over
The calmness of relaxation is no where to be found.
Everything irritates, Everything causes tears, Everything causes anger and frustration.
The body doesn't work together, the feet stumble, the hands find anything they can  find to bump.
The skin bleeds.   The pain gets the best of the body and the only thoughts that come forward are pain.  The mind wants to be agile, able to do what it wants and sad because it can't.  Concentration is impossible.
Legs can't stop, move , move , move.
what is happening   am i coming apart at the seems.

I guess i can write what i want cause no one seems to read this.  Cool , its like a diary but easier on my hand.
I spent a couple upset days as one of my online friends in dog training unliked me and said we weren't a good match.  I felt really sad.  But i contemplated and contemplated and stewed and brewed about it.  First it was please please forgive me.  I of course had put my foot in my mouth and i just wanted to back pedal to fix it as it was a relationship i was enjoying and learning from.  Then I decided to hell with them,. who do they think they are.  They think I am close minded and prejudiced and they profess to like everyone.  I tried to explain myself.  I think everyone is somewhat prejudiced even tho they don't realize it, and then i figured that person was indeed prejudiced against me, so what made them special.  Then i thought deeper and deeper.  Am I indeed prejudiced?, possibly.  I judge people on a face to face basis based on whether they are good people or jerks and if they are jerks or mean or bad standards or etc then it doesn't matter what color, creed,religion or sexual orientation they are, it doesn't matter to me.  A good person is a good person that's that.  A bad person i can usually find one thing in them i like or at least one redeeming factor at least.  That's why i get all the difficult patients at work because i don't judge and i try very hard to find one thing we have in common or thing that i can appreciate about them.  it usually works and i walk away richer for it.
But then i decided this was about liking or not liking public figures and i decided yes, i do form judgements there that aren't exactly maybe what they seem.  So maybe i should like them all for what they are different or the same from me.  Then i wondered, why do i care what that person thinks, why is my value tied up in what others think of me.  I still haven't figured that one out.  Then i hit the depression side, I am stupid, dumb, uneducated, can't make friends, can't keep my foot out of my mouth and on and on.  Then as i wondered about my existence here and why, I was supported by my husband with a hug and a thank you that the yard work i had done that day looked really good.  He knew i was feeling down.  The next day I threw myself into my work at work and my work here at home, good hard physical work.  I realize i am not the sharpest crayon in the box but I do have color and it is still bright.  I am simple but as a Masai runner in the Olympics said," we don't need fancy things, we don't need things, we just are happy being".  What a wonderful people.  I just need to look to God for my answers, worry about what he thinks, try to live according to what he wants of me and just be.  I have had my eyes open and there was truth and there was non truth,.  I am honest, I work hard, I try to be fair and nonjudgmental, and I try to love life as it is given to me and I try to live in the moment.  I try to live for my God and as he would want.  i am not perfect, I am not bright, I am not talented, I have no one gift that i can feel is great, but i have the gift of trying.  I have perseverance.  I am not afraid of hard work.  i am not usually afraid of new things and I try to be open to any and all things and sort them out as i go along.  I have hang ups, don't we all, but i try to survive in spite of them.  Each day brings new challenges to me, and tho they may not be great earth shattering challenges that change the world, they are my challenges no matter how small and they change me.  I hope I can be someone that others will someday look at and admire and say, " I wish i was more like her"  Or "she is what Gods love and promise is all about".  Animals are about all i know, but as meaningless as that may be to some it is my only gift, my solace, my unconditional love.  They don't judge me, they don't care if i put a foot in my mouth, or out of ignorance do something stupid.  i guess i don't need a lot of friends.  So what if they don't like me. The animals know i don't do harm out of purpose, only ignorance and they forgive me and love me in spite of it.  Some say Animals don't go to heaven.  I don't believe that.  i believe God has put me here to do what i can with and for animals, that is how i speak, thru them.  My thoughts have rambled and they could go on and on.  The online friend befriended me again and I will try to be more open and accepting.  I will try to be the person I want to be, simple, or not.  I do count.!!!  And I will hope that friend really is a true friend.

Well my first social security check went in the bank yest.  Mixed feelings.  Am i now old, do people see me as old.  Guess so, but i don't feel old.  I can't even capitalize my pronouns yet, i can't be old. or are the small i's more a reflection of my self image.  Interesting question.
Its not enough to live on but i am working enough to get buy.  Went to the food bank tho cause we are cash poor.  That was an embarrassing and humiliating experience.  Haven't done it since i was in college.  But they were very nice and said "we don't judge".  Food is food.  We are trying to cut down our supplies and some of our meals are kinda strange.  stuff doesn't all go together but we are finding out we don't need as much food as we thought, good deal huh?
We always learn a lot and find out amazing things about ourselves when we go through our poor periods so we don't worry, money has never been our primary concern in life.
We are having a garage sale in a couple weeks, that should bring in some dollars to use or save for new stuff, all of it might buy one new thing.  Life is interesting.
My doc yest injected a nerve in the bottom on my leg that goes into my foot.  It has been terribly sore.  it was the first problem i started out and he said this is progression as the last thing to fix is always the first thing that comes and all other stuff looks good.
He tells me my nerve problem is not in my head and I am not crazy, both these docs tell me that.  I probably lived in a fight or flight syndrome to much as a child and so i have this hyperactive nerve problem, or maybe something happened to me i don't remember (trauma).  Its not my fault and i have done what i could so now its time to deal with it.   (Not the inflamed nerve in my foot, tho that was caused by the slightest of pressure which then affects the muscles and nerves in my legs and etc)  Then i walk funny, and the body compensates which creates more pain.  My body interprets pain first and normal sensations are blocked back and when the pain gets controlled and managed then i will have the normal sensations. Thats why i am affected with fibromyalgia, a little chronic fatique, arthritis is an effect of over use, and sensitivities all over my body and skin.  They are learning all sorts of things now about chronic pain, its a new and groundbreaking field.
Well must go.  Three wild loose horses just went running by the house.  Beautiful but guess i better see if they need help catching them.  Loose horses and cattle and goats are not an uncommon site on whidbey.

These are the pictures.  the purple at the top is my hydranga.  You can see the globe ones and the poppy and the white butterfly bush is especially striking this year.

Well we have been doing battle with raspberry bushes and to look at me you would know it. We are trying to spruce up the property so we look better than the others on the market.  We burned off the veggie garden and found it and tilled that ground and spruced it up.  Almost finished.  We started cleaning out the vineyard. Have to take down some alders that grew to fast in there and are shading it.  The chickens got the ground brush cleaned out for me.  We took down an old structure in the garden yard and mowed that down and now we have to clean up some trees we planted in a nursery setting and they got away from us.  I got carried away with the camera the last few days so plan on posting some.  i played with taking pictures of myself in the garden reflected in the globe.  And my margarete poppy (thats not the right name but its as close as i could get to remembering the real name - they usually know what i am talking about at the nursery).  It is blooming like crazy finally.  Had three blooms last year but once it gets going it is almost invasive, but its hard to start.  It is the most beautiful poppy I have ever seen, so i got some pictures of that too.  My butterfly bushes are in almost full bloom, couple look pretty peaked tho.  We have not had the best growing weather out here either the last two years.  So once i take out the little thing from the camera and load them I will try and post some.

Well i am getting somewhere in my birds training.  Little sammy is the tammest and she loves being out and sitting on my shoulder and just fussing around where i am.  Shes a good little bird.  The other one was the wildest of the two and it has been a bitch to calm her down but leroy was sowking on her and we have now started letting her out.  She directly goes to me but then likes to bite me in the neck and such, not as hard as in the past, no blood so those are HUGE changes for her.  Thats Ella.  Sam is my little one tho, she does know a couple of tricks and plan to teach her more, the ones sheknows aren't real solid.  She loves to sit on my head and eat seeds and then i find seeds in my head.  such a deal.  I just had to call for reinforments to get her back in her cage as she liked being silly today and the cats where intrested in that.  All well that ends well.  when leroy and i gang up on her she usually knows and goes in compliantely.  You may have seen the picture of Ella riding on Trixies back.  we know call her trixies taxi.  The birds are Sam and Ella and both are girls.

ok am going to try to post some pictures that explain my life in retirement, or my priorities and whats important.  My car sums it up.  Read the plates carefully.

Well here i am today.  We have had lookers at the house but no one willing to buy.  They love the land but the house is not up to the standards for most of them.  So we just keep fixing and changing and trying to make it more appealing.
For those of you that don't know, I decided to take retirement one year early so it was official july one and i turned 65 july 3rd.  I was busy the first week with dog shows and a quilt retreat so didn't really notice it.  Mon i called in to see if they needed me as i am still on reserve status (thats help if they need you) and they didn't need me this week.   I will still be doing call one week a month tho.
So pray people that this house sells as its going to be pretty tight around here paying bills and maintinaing with not the old regular income.
The dog show was great, sallee did pretty well in agility and rally.  Annie (our 16 year old that goes along) wiped the floor with everyone she is so good.  She showed Iris in junior conformation and breed ring but we only got 2 reserves.  competition is stiff at this championship level and Iris didn't do her best showing.  We are going for grand championship.  But she did fair in rally and earned a title and she did great in agility and earned more points for her uach title.  she is 1/3 of the way there.  she needs 100 points at scores of 196 or higher.  so we had fun, were busy as can be and came home tired and jazzed going over many laughs of the weekend.  Dog shows and spending time with your dogs is the very best way to spend your time.

The second best way to spend your time is to quilt.   I went to a quilt retreat for 5 days in orting, wa.  Its a great facitility, a great little town and the 10 of us had a ball.  I might post some pictures on here so i have them in a space i can save tho they all did go on facebook.  I guess i have to figure the picture thing out since i can't seem to find how to put pictures on it from the phone.

I was back here on my birthday and Freeland puts on this big party with fireworks just for me so i was there.  We got there in time to hear a brass drum band and see the fireworks.   It was great.

Now to clean up the house and dig into working on this house.

Well it worked.  Yeah.
Not sure how to link it but maybe i can hit jeff up to help me when he comes home.
I have changed my status at work to reserve the first of july.  I start social security in july but only a year early.  I have my insurance set up.
The house is up for sale, has been for almost a year, but things are moving and one thing we have had is lots of lookers.  They just haven't been the right people for this place.  It needs people who are a bit adventuresome.  We did have a couple this weekend and they were the first people in the right demographic for this place so maybe they will come back.  We will see.  I have no fear, as i know this place will sell.  We bought it and someone else will too.
My health has had some ups and downs and I went to a pain clinic on Fri.  They have some strict criteria for joining them but the doc was not only beautiful and patient and understanding but very versed in this new cutting edge field of medicine.  She feels there is help for my chronic pain so we will see.  Very excited to try.
I wish the VA would address this same thing with Leroy so he could be pain free.
Neither one of us is ready to settle down and let old age take over, we want to spend out time enjoying life, doing things till the very end.
Our plan when this place sells (at this time anyhow) is to move into the motor home and travel till we find a place that makes us happy and is cheaper to live and then we will settle down and just travel for fun but for the time being we will live in the motor home with 4 dogs and 2 cats and 1 bird.    We are willing to try the adventure and see what happens.
Our Australian Shepard died a few weeks ago (Frosti) so we miss her and it would seem the rate that Trixie is losing ground she won't finish out the year.  Frosti was 14 and Trixie is 12-15, we don't know for sure.
We have two lovebirds but doubt we will take them both.  One is mean and one is sweet.  The mean one was on the lamb for so long she probably isn't tameable.  They are rescues (what else).  The cats are old and one has lived in the motor home before so hopefully they will adjust, we will see.   Lots of things are up in the air and will have to be dealt with when the time comes.
Much of our stuff is in storage and we are continuing to add more to the two storage units.  Leroy has one for his boat and garage stuff and one is for household.  Its amazing, i don't miss what is packed away and the house is so much less stressful without all that crap in it.   We have one part of a building storing all the junk we plan on selling.  Leroy does love a good garage sale.
I think this gets it all up to date and i will add more now that i can figure it out.  But it will be more consistent when we get on the road.  Hope to post pictures too.

If I can i plan on reactivating this blog.  I plan to post the new portion of our lives on it so that family and friends that care to know can check this out.  The minimal amount will be put on face book and i will try and link the two.
My problem is I can't remember how to do this so this is my trial post.