Last wed we took a break, went to look up our old camp neighbors, the ones with the little model girl. They weren't home so we went over to deception pass park. We had to show flat maysen around. We hiked down to the one beach and it was sad. We remembered bringing mom down there and then that led to other memories of that trip out here It was her last and tho others couldn't see it yet as much I could and knew she had alzheimers, tho i didn't want to admit it either. I remember her asking me when she couldn't get something straight or remember it "What is happening to me?" She had the look of a frightened animal backed into a corner. It was a terrifying thing to see. It has taken a long time to forget it but i was particularly nostolgic that day and it hit me harder than usual. So tears were shed again. Then i promptly fell flat on my face over a log in front of many people, so my dignity which had already been shattered when we got there by a incident, was totally devastated. Earlier i had to make a bathroom stop when we got there. I had run out of all my pills days earlier so that am i took one of leroys diuretics (same as mine but stronger), well i will let you figure out the rest. The whole day shattered my vision of myself and my reality to the aging process. I only tell it as it is my journal and reality includes being honest about it to myself at least.
Thurs we had a financial mtg and then we had our eyes examined. Mine was just a vision adjustment, bad enough, but no cataracts. That surprised me as since i do everything donna does so since she just had her cataracts done and now needs no glasses, i was sure i would have them. Leroy had a vision change too and he said if he used his imagination and looked real hard he might say leroy is starting one but he doubted it.
So we picked out leroys glasses and they look so good on him (i think i wrote this before, sorry). I will go again and see if they have any i like, as i have to have bigger ones now and so that equates to ugly to me.
We went to agility thurs nite and we didn't do to bad. we have been practicing so our instructor was happy with us i think. We don't get there very regularly now.
Fri i finally finished up my pile of paperwork i had to do and had piled up since the move. yeah,!!!! Made a big difference in the attitude of my area in the RV. the passenger seat is my desk and personal area, so i have a brief case and my dog stuff and etc here. Then the dogs jump on the dashboard, or the cats, and mess it all up so i am so glad i have it now under control. Also I am the electronics central for things to be plugged in as i have a plug in that works all the time.
I have been doing good counting carbs in my diet. That is wehre i am starting, since that is what i read, start counting that and learn that first. it helps to just concentrate on one thing at a time. Leroy is learning too and is reading labels. Think i haven't got balanced enough nutrition tho as this am when i was walking i got pretty hungry and tired. So need to not completely starve. Its a process, just as i used to tell my patients. I do have determination and support on my side tho that helps. Tho i am sure when i am faced with times i have no control over i will have some flubs. But life goes on. Anything is better than i was doing. I knew about carbs and etc but counting them, finding the serving size and such man is a bigger deal than you realize. I see why so many brittle diabetics have so much trouble. Probably not a big deal if you have already been a fairly healthy eater, its a big deal if you have lived on crap all your life and only eaten when you are hungry (not regular times).
Today we are headed to ocean shores. We will stay at a place that is connected to K and M an organization we belong to that allows cheaper lodging. Leroy has had it in his head to go to the ocean and just sit for a while after the house sold and just recoup. Haven't had a chance. So i rescheduled some appts and made a free two weeks and we are headed down. Never been there but its supposedly close to the beach. So he can fly kites and enjoy himself. It is still hard for me to just sit, partly cause its painful, but partly cause I am a squirrel. So i find something to do all the time and the dogs and i put on lots of miles each day, and play. Today we walked off the trail into a field and on a mowed path around the field. Iris sniffed for mouses and it was beautiful, blue sky, hawks in the sky, birds in the marsh beside the trail, cat tails in the marsh. it was gorgeous. whidbey is a beautiful place, wish it wasn't so expensive to live there.
As we drive, diesel is in the window in his bed in full sunshine. No one is making him sit there, he chose it himself. He is panting and i didn't know his tongue was that long, he is so hot but he is a true Mexican, he loves the sun. Sidney was on his table watching cars and things go buy and then must not have felt so good. We heard some pre puke growls and he jumped down. He never did throw up but i think he felt like it for a while. Not been up there after that. Went back to the bed to lay down instead. That is Carries motis opierendi (lay stretched out and sleep for the drive).
Think i will try and hit some quilt stores this weekend. But plans and actuality are sometimes different.
Oh i know. Today we stopped for gas. I get out and spot and tell him where to stop. I asked him, after i was out, which tank he was going to use. Of course, we had a communication problem. He got out and gave me the money and said go pay for blank on tank blank. I did so. But being tired and frustrated with him i went in, gave the money to the clerk and said i want this much on tank bla bla. Then i want you to call the cops because i am then going to murder my husband." You should have seen her face, it was priceless. She was not sure i was kidding, she was stricken with fear and disbelief for a while. Leroy went in after for a coke and she said, guess she didn't kill you huh? for all i know she would have done it.
The traffic today is really heavy. It is like a regular day. The traffic out here has really increased in the twenty years i have been here. Guess this is the place to be. Glad we don't have to drive in this all the time. There is no way i could have done home health over here for all those years. Glad i switched to the island when i did. My poor friend Joyce gets caught in this for work, but maybe she can transition to the island again.
The birds are chirping away. We finally fixed the rattle in the bird cages. It was the floor bouncing up and down. it drove them and Iris and I crazy and i couldn't figure out a fix. Then last nite Susan came over and she helped my brain come up with a solution. Cross bar perches that one end rests on the floor. Great fix, helps the sound and gives those crazy birds something to climb around on. They just go down the road, singing and talking and having a great time. Sometimes we swear they are answering our questions or repeating words but its probably in our imaginations, but it creates some humor at times.
All for now.
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